How to reconnect when love has fizzled out…

Photo by Andrew Nicholson. Night sky over the Highlands.

A woman is a beautiful and emotional being. She has a fundamental need for affection from the man she loves. If her need is not met, then her desire for lovemaking is likely to decline. A woman who receives little or no affection in her relationship is not likely to want to make love often.

Because for a woman, lovemaking happens as a result of the affection she receives…

Her need for affection can be met in so many ways; hugging, kind words, flowers, kissing, a loving text or call, breakfast in bed, staying in touch when he’s away, a gentle shoulder massage, the list is endless.

The simple key; ask her how she likes her need for affection to be met, then step up and meet it for her…

The problem is that so many women have been raised to put their own needs last. As a result, few speak up about what they need. Many don’t even know what they need when asked. Others feel that their needs are likely to be met only after they’ve met everyone else’s. Unfortunately, this doesn’t teach him to put her needs first, it actually leaves him feeling very confused as to how he can take any part in making her happy.

So the kindest thing she can do for the man she loves, is to share her needs, wants and desires with him. This doesn’t leave him feeling she’s high maintenance or demanding when they’re shared lovingly. On the contrary, it leaves him knowing exactly what he can do to have a happy and fulfilled woman by his side. It also leaves him feeling wonderful as a man, because men love stepping up for the woman they love, and feel great when they’re appreciated for being the reason behind her smile.

So, which comes first – the love-making or the affection?

Here’s the thing…

  • The more affection she receives, the more she’s likely to want to make love.
  • The more love-making he receives, the more affectionate he’s likely to be.

So, one partner has to make the decision to break the routine and change things. Whether it’s him or her, either way will work, but it’s always essential to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about your needs and how you’d love them to be met.

Loving and open communication in a relationship is something you can practise together. It takes one to share lovingly, and the other to listen lovingly and without feeling criticised. We’ve realised with certainty that you can share practically anything in a gentle way. The more lovingly you communicate your truth, the more likely your partner will be to hear what you have to say, and the more likely they will be to want to step up for you.

So, in essence, both need to step up… a woman in sharing her needs, and a man in meeting them. One won’t happen without the other.

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