Life is not all roses and fairy dust…

Photo by Andrew Nicholson. Loch Ness.

Some valuable lessons I’ve learned in life:

Happy is wonderful, but it’s still a noise, a striving, and dependent on things outside of me. Peace is so much more consistent than happiness. I cannot be ‘happy’ if something bad happens to someone I love, but I can be at peace with it.

Those who give the impression that they are sugary sweet, ego-less, fairy-dust types, rarely are.

That it’s perfectly OK to have an opinion on something, even if it’s a negative one. It does not mean someone is broken or in need of fixing. It means they’re alive.

That sitting back in a spiritual haze of ‘I do not need to respond’ can actually teach others that their negative behaviour towards you is fine. The lesson in reality is often in finding the courage to speak up. As Einstein once said “The world will not be destroyed by those who do wrong, but by those who watch them without doing anything”.

The greatest lesson in life is to learn when to walk away peacefully, and when to speak up. In other words, when it’s your trigger and when it’s your truth. Mastering both are required.

That if you give people the opportunity to judge you negatively by being too open, many will. In other words, be wise about the people you choose to share your vulnerability with.

People generally take as much as they can given the opportunity, and very few say thank you. This in itself goes against the law of Karma. When giving stops because it has become a one way street, those who have been receiving will often be offended.

When someone complains constantly to you, it’s up to you to either enable it, or stop it dead in its tracks. Every relationship takes two.

When we are annoyed with others, it’s usually ourselves that we are more annoyed with… for not stating our boundaries, saying no, speaking up.

The people who make money effortlessly are those who promise to make others rich and successful. Unless you’re going to be promising to make others rich and successful too, the philosophy they’re selling you won’t necessarily work for you. Just be wise, that is all.

The people who consistently point out the errors in others thinking often have nothing of real substance or wisdom to say for themselves when they’re not coming up against someone else’s opinion.

Some people will always remember you for the mistakes you’ve made, no matter how much you’ve changed.

Empathy is wonderful and allows a soul to be heard. It does however require a time limit. Sympathy is condescending unless it is an occasion where sympathy is genuinely required, such as a passing in the family.

You have no control over the perceptions, thoughts and energy that others choose to hold. Trying to get everyone to like you is like saying you want to control the world.

Some people will like you, some won’t. That’s perfect. You don’t like everyone, do you?

Thinking that others always show up as a reflection of me goes on the assumption that others have no control over their own thoughts, behaviour and actions. Sometimes they do show up as a reflection of me and how I treat them, sometimes they don’t because they are showing up as themselves regardless. Sometimes I show up as a reflection of others, because that is how Karma works. Sometimes I don’t, because I choose not to. I do know that the world and everyone in it does not revolve around me.

When someone communicates with superiority about spiritual philosophy, they aren’t living the principles they are preaching about.

I’ve learned that I don’t need to spend time around people who have shown me that they have no respect towards me. I can forgive, let go and walk away, but I don’t need to continue looking for lessons that I have already learned. I’ve noticed too that they rarely respond well when I do choose to walk away, and this is simply the Universe’s way of testing my resolve, courage and willingness to take on guilt.

Enlightened people don’t tell you they are enlightened and have no ego. They don’t need to. It’s the ego that does that.

Much of the time, we are doing exactly what we are complaining about others doing.

That being positive all the time when you don’t really feel it is simply icing over the cracks. Being authentically positive means you embrace all your emotions without feeling bad about yourself for having them. The Human Condition comes with a wide range of emotions, and sometimes even the negative ones are necessary. Anger is often healthier honoured, so long as it’s not just a trigger. Grief heals when it’s allowed to run its course. Fear often keeps you safe, so long as it doesn’t keep you in your comfort zone. Guilt however, is more often than not self-indulgent.

Sometimes unhappiness is simply our soul’s way of letting us know that something in our life needs to change. Nothing more, nothing less. Icing over it with fake positivity stops us making the changes we need to. Best we take the time to listen to what our emotions are telling us instead.

Listening to your own intuition will teach you more than asking anyone else what they think.

That having someone in your life who holds you accountable lovingly is one of the greatest gifts there is. Thank You Andy!

The greatest lessons of all… well…

Learning to be myself… to speak my truth, no matter how much courage it took.

Being true to myself, regardless of what others thought.

Believing in myself… trusting my intuition and in the unfolding of life…

Following my path, when so many others were telling me to step away from it.

And that being myself is enough...

Diane Nicholson

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